May 2013
When you feel guilty about the things you’re doing to her you try to deny it by going to her and acting more affectionate than you actually are.
When you feel guilty about the things you’re doing to me you try to justify it by hating me and becoming this horrible angry person and trying to make it my fault.
You need serious psychological help.
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[[MORE]]Monday May 20th Day 05:
I finally got home. The car ride was so long and boring. It was just unfitting album after unfitting album and there was no conscious effort in the flow of things and it made it so much more annoying but ya know my dad always has to have his way and he always has to have the music he likes and no one can say a damn thing against it otherwise he is going to freak...
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[[MORE]]Sunday May 19th Day 04:
I slept pretty well last night which was surprising. I woke up to the sound of Jessica’s cat meowing at the window which was nice because Banjo hadn’t come home in a few days and we’re glad she’s alright.
We went on a 4 hour hike today through the forest and it was a lot of fun and Jessica and I talked about a lot of things and I was like...
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[[MORE]]Ena wants to have an Arrested Development viewing party
And that’s not right because I was supposed to be watching with you other there together
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[[MORE]]Saturday May 18th Day 03:
I’ve given up on love.
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[[MORE]]Friday May 17th Day 02:
I don’t even know where to start for today. I woke up feeling so much better and I feel like a lot of that had to do with talking to Sebastian the night before. I got up and took a shower and got ready to go to Humboldt and I honestly felt fine the whole time. I had tension with my dad like I usually do but I wasn’t worried about anything and I wasn’t thinking...
[[MORE]]I think I’m just going to take a nap right now
I got 2 hours of sleep last night. I’m not in the right condition to handle all of this right now.
I just want to bawl my eyes out.
“I am inside someone
who hates me.”
– Amiri Baraka, “An Agony. As Now.” (via larmoyante)
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[[MORE]]Thursday May 16th Day 01:
I think today was better than yesterday, at least it ended a lot better. I woke up earlier than I expected and was ready to get something done. I had to disinfect my whole room, which ended up not being so bad because I could scavenge through every corner and look for all the things that linked back to Sebastian as well. I found so much more than I expected to...
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